Humans of The Bush No 5 - A Tale of Westfield Security

Westfield. Don't mess with us.

"At noon the other day I was stopped by security people in Westfield.  I was pushing a Waitrose cart through the mall to the Westernmost exit near Debenham's.

They said it was a health and safety issue. I caused a big ruckus, asking for the rules in writing.  I pointed out prams, and wondered if they were violating the health and safety of others.

I deliberately made a fuss, and I kind of enjoyed the chaos that followed.  More and more security people came over to try to goodcop/badcop me into handing over the shopping cart.  One fellow had a little lapel camera into which I performed.

The best part was when he threatened to ban me from the mall.  All the money I would save! I should get my children banned too.

I live two blocks from Westfield, to park at the mall would be wasteful and ludicrous.  I only wanted to get to Jamie Oliver's with the cart, then carry my bags home.

But I was absolutely at fault.   When I started to tell my friend what I had done, I realised I had been asinine and juvenile.  I was pushing a cartful of groceries.

None of the guards asked if I need help carrying them, but they might've offered had I not been such a jackass.

I'm publicly apologising this instant for my behaviour, especially to the young man with sideburns, who was so upset he wouldn't shake my hand or tell me his name.  Security did a great job handling the situation.  But they should be on high alert, since I'll definitely do it again. I just won't be so confrontative next time.

And I won't buy as heavy a load.

I can't wait for John Lewis to arrive! More Mall!"